Decision

My mom has made the decision to stop all treatment with my dad.  He will stay on his steroids, anti seizure medication and all other meds that help him stay comfortable.  But she has decided to do no more Temodar, Avastin, radiation or anything along those lines.  She feels that this is what my dad would have wanted. To die in peace.  He has fought hard and been such a strong person.  Never complaining, never feeling sorry for himself.  Just saying “It is what it is.”  and going on with his life.

I am so grateful for the 4 really good months we got after his first surgery.  We all got to spend time with him and make memories with him.  I am glad I had this conversation with him.  It gives me peace to know that he knows how much I love him.

My mom will call Hospice this next week and go from there.  I am planning on taking as much time off work as I need to to be down there with her and my dad.  I am lucky that my job/boss is so supportive and letting me do what I need to do in this situation. I am feeling sad for my brother who leaves tomorrow to go back to grad school in Colorado.  It will probably be the last time he will see my dad before he dies.  I am glad he has gotten to spend the past week with him.

I am very sad, but also filled with peace still as I said before.  I know he has lived a good life.  I know he will be welcomed with open arms by my grandmother, uncle and great grandparents.  I know he won’t be sad or alone, nor will he be feeling any pain or complications from this horrible disease anymore.  Knowing that gives me even more peace.

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Decision

    • I have been following your blog. My husband went on hospice about 5 weeks ago after we decided to stop treatment. It was a difficult decision to make but I believe the correct one. He died peacefully on Dec. 29. Speak to him even though you think he cannot hear you; I believe they do.

  1. Wilhelmina, Your opinion does matter to me. I think my mom has made the right choice too. I am so sorry for your loss Jean G. Thank you for your advice. I will make sure I talk to him a lot. If you have any other advice that you think would benefit me I would love to hear it. It is an overwhelming feeling knowing that your loved one is going to die soon and you want to do everything right up until that point.

  2. Heather, I have been meaning to tell you this, and it sounds kind of silly really. But the last time I was at your parents house it felt so peaceful over there. I couldn’t put a finger on it but I remember thinking “man, I could sit here all night.” It just was warm and comfortable, i dont know how else to describe it. I thought Lucy would for sure be super fussy, she had only a 15min nap in the car that day, and I was sure we would maybe last 10 min and then need to go home. But she was so happy! Steve even commented on it, and he normally doesn’t notice things like that. She let everyone hold her and when she got tired she just fell asleep. That is pretty unusual for her, if she isn’t in her bed she simply refuses to sleep, when we were at Steve’s parents house for New Years Eve, she literally cried for 2 hours because she was tired and wouldn’t go to sleep. Anyway, here is the strange part, and if you think I’m crazy, that’s Ok, I wonder that myself. But I kept getting this feeling of “why does it seem like there are more people here?” I kind of kept looking around and it was just us. I didn’t think much of it until I went to bed that night and it finally occurred to me that the veil is very thin right now. Crazy huh?! It gave me a lot of comfort and it just makes me kind of miss that feeling, I wish I had known what it was at the time. I don’t know if any of your family has felt the same thing, maybe I just noticed because I’m not around your Dad all the time. Anyway, hang in there! Let me kow what you need help with when you come down.
    -Aimee

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s