Memorial Day 2013

I really thought that this day was going to be hard.  But it wasn’t.  I actually enjoyed it.  Didn’t have a heavy heart.  Had fun seeing family and friends.  No tears.  Cry scale actually a 0.  I don’t believe that spirits just hang out in the cemetery.  I am sure my dad was there with us, but I actually felt his presence more at the dinner we had before we went to the cemetery than while we were there.

I brought a beautiful lily that was the color of my wedding flowers and put a frog in the pot.  (My dad’s nickname for me my whole life was frog.)  It looks a little off-balance with all of the mums (I HATE mums) but I had to do something that was just from me.  It made me feel better. My daughter brought her pin wheel and left it too.  She wanted to give Grandpa something.  She got bored but was very respectful.  I turned around and at one point she was just sitting there on his headstone playing with a flower.  Hanging out with grandpa.

I am still not used to Dad not being part of our outings.  My husband had walked over to get some water from a faucet across the cemetery and I absentmindedly thought “Where did Tony go, oh he must be somewhere walking around with dad.”  Then it was Oh yeah, I am here because of dad.  I am standing at his grave site.  Damn….

Overall a nice weekend though.  Another first done and over with.  It is getting easier.

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