After – 20 months – Service

This is a heart wrenching situation and I don’t know how I feel about it.  You can read the full story here.  Short and condensed version of this is she has been diagnosed with GBM and has moved to Oregon to be able to legally end her life on her terms, when she wants to.  It is called the Death with Dignity Act.  It is only legal in 4 other states besides Oregon (Washington, Montana, Vermont and New Mexico.)  I’ve never heard of it before.

I’ve seen the end stages of GBM.  I watched as it robbed my father of himself.  I watched him die for 9 days.  If it were me I think I would want to go on my own terms. I would want to spare my family the heartache of seeing me decline, having to take care of me for weeks and weeks before I finally died.   But I strongly believe everything happens the way and when it does for a reason.  If I hadn’t had those 9 days with my mom and sister I don’t think we would have grown so close and formed such a strong bond, one we didn’t have before.  I wouldn’t have had the time to take care of my dad and give to him after so many years of him taking care of me.  It would have deprived so many people the chance to do service for our family.

Service.  Kind of a stupid concept when I first heard this idea from my best friend Donna.  It was during one of those horrible 9 days that I asked her why we had to wait so long.  Why didn’t God just take him now?  What was the point?  She said that this whole experience my dad was going through wasn’t just about him.  It was about my family.  It was about all the friends and family that were helping one way or another.  I was mad.  Why did my dad’s disease and dying have to be used as something to make other people feel better about themselves?  Why did God choose for MY dad to get brain cancer? What did I do so wrong in my life that I needed to learn a stupid lesson like service THIS way?

Then I thought about it some more.  My father was the most kind giving person I have ever known in my life.  I’m not just saying that because he was my father.  He seriously had no ill feelings towards anyone.  Never said anything negative about a person.  He would do anything for anyone pretty much no questions asked.  My dad always wanted to help people feel better about themselves.  He would have wanted to give them opportunities to serve the Lord.  I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t have chosen getting brain cancer and dying as his preferred way to do it,  but it is what it is (as he would say).

I found this quote here.

As you devote yourself to serving others, you will draw closer to Heavenly Father. Your heart will be filled with love. You will learn that service and sacrifice are ways to overcome selfishness. You will enjoy happiness that comes only from giving service to God and others. Your capacities will increase, and you will be an instrument in God’s hands to bless the lives of His children.

So in my father’s case I know he wouldn’t have chosen this option to end his fight with GBM.   I think that Brittany Maynard is a strong inspiring woman.  Her going public with this makes me admire her even more.  I have read the comments on different articles about her that have been so cruel and uncalled for.  Her intentions are pure.  She loves her family.  She wants to spare them from the way this all ends.  She wants control.  If you have read my blog even once you know how I feel about control.  So I wish her and her family peace and comfort in the days to come.

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3 thoughts on “After – 20 months – Service

  1. Pingback: Beautiful Faces | Trying To Survive One Moment At A Time

  2. Pingback: After – 23 Months + 17 Days | Trying To Survive One Moment At A Time

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