My mom doesn’t read my blog. I think she tried to read it when I first started writing it but it was all too real at the time. Then I think she just forgot about it. Now that she is away from home serving her LDS mission I send her a letter every week. I can still talk to her on the phone when I want to and email her, but there is something about getting real mail in your mailbox that is much more personal. So my goal is to send her a letter once a week while she is on her mission.
Well when you still talk to someone 2-3 times a week there isn’t much to say in a letter so I decided I would start sending her a copy of one of my blog posts each week, starting with the most recent and going back. So this week I sent her my post about distance since at the time it was my most recent post. I was nervous about her reading it. I didn’t want to make her sad. I didn’t want her to feel like I was sharing too much personal information with the whole world. Her reply was perfect. The quote she added was just what I needed to hear. I wanted to share her response. (With her permission.)
I am amazed at your writing skill. You are able to feel and express your emotions so much better than I can.
I’m not sure what I can say to help you feel better. Just that I love you.
Yes, the grief and pain are there, but for me, I have to look forward to good things coming, rather than dwell in the past. The past hurts too much and it cannot be changed. If I had my way, it would have never happened. But it did. We can’t change that. What we have to do now is live in the present with hope for the future.
Today I was reading the Ensign magazine and I came across this. It helped me feel better. I hope it can help you too.
Russel M Nelson, as quoted in the current Ensign:
“Life does not begin with birth, nor does it end with death. Prior to our birth, we dwelled as spirit children with our Father in Heaven. There we eagerly anticipated the possibility of coming to earth and obtaining a physical body. Knowingly we wanted the risks of mortality, which would allow the exercise of agency and accountability. ‘This life [was to become] a probationary state; a time to prepare to meet God.’ (Alma 12:24.) But we regarded the returning home as the best part of that long-awaited trip, just as we do now. Before embarking on any journey, we like to have some assurance of a round-trip ticket. Returning from earth to life in our heavenly home requires passage through – and not around – the doors of death. We were born to die, and we die to live. (See 2 Cor. 6:9.) As seedlings of God, we barely blossom on earth; we fully flower in heaven.”
I’m sure Dad wouldn’t want you to be so sad. I don’t either. Life is for living, trying to do the best we can in every situation that comes our way. I know you are trying to do that. I just don’t want you to get bogged down in past sadness.
I’m afraid that I cannot come up with the right words to ease your soul. But do remember that I love you, and so does Dad, and Grandpa, and Grandma, and Heavenly Father, and Jesus, and everybody you knew before you were born, whoever they are, and so many people that are here on earth now: your friends, siblings, and relatives. Feel the peace and love coming coming from all of us to you.
I don’t think it matters how old we get. Mom’s always know the right things to say.