Good News

My Dad’s MRI showed that there isn’t any evidence of his original tumor, the satellite tumor has shrunk, and they couldn’t see any of the little “fingers” coming off of where the original tumor was.  So this is all great news.  Again, the doctors said they can’t believe he is doing so well.  Which really if you think about it is kind of a crappy thing to say to someone.  It’s like “We really thought you would be doing horrible right now, if not dead.”  Blah

The “glowing” part of his brain in the MRI’s I posted is just fluid that has filled up the area where the original tumor was.  It is a denser type of cell and reflects more on the scan.  I tell him he must have super powers now from the radiation. 

His next MRI isn’t until the end of October.  He doesn’t have to see the oncologist again until then.  He will keep taking his chemo (400 mg of the Temodar) on a 28 day cycle.  He struggles with short term memory loss and fatigue, but otherwise is doing well. 

So, so far so good.  I am glad he is doing well.  I am happy that he will be here for my wedding.  And when I say “be here” I mean mentally.  This ugly cancer will take that away from us eventually, but right now I am enjoying and cherishing every minute and phone I call I have with him.

Love this picture of him and I.  It was taken a few years back at my brother’s wedding.

Image

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Patience and Waiting

My dad’s MRI went well.  I mean the actual MRI.  I don’t know the results yet.  Of course they are making us wait a week to find out.  They gave my mom a CD with all the pictures (all 544 of them) to have.  So I am stuck looking at this for 5 days and wondering what the hell that big white blob is on his brain.  Is this just fluid filling up the area of the original tumor that they removed?  Is it a new tumor? It’s been almost 3 months since he finished his radiation so his swelling should be at a minimum, or so I’m told.

 

I googled “Glioblastoma MRI” to see if I could compare his scan to any of those, and it didn’t help.  They all look so different.  Why don’t I have a friend that is a radiologist?

So I will wait.  I’m not good at waiting.  This whole cancer thing is a waiting game. I am not patient. At. All.

20 Week Update

Positive thoughts and prayers for my dad today.  It is his first MRI since his surgery.  I know we won’t get much information from this one, it is more of a baseline to measure all the rest of his MRI’s off of.  But I am still hoping for good news.  They are also doing an EEG, but they have already told my dad that this will show abnormalities since he has had a traumatic brain injury.  So I really don’t understand why they are even doing one.  If anyone has information on EEGs and brain tumors please tell me.  I need to Google it.

Thanks to all of you that comment on my blog and email me.  It is nice to know there are people out there that understand.  It is too bad we have had to meet under these circumstances.  I appreciate your kind words and friendship.

Celebrations

Today is my dad’s 68th birthday.  I was lucky and got to spend Saturday with him and help him and my mom celebrate their 45th wedding anniversary.  It was bitter-sweet.  They were so happy, and surprised.  Many people came from out town to wish my parents well.  I know they were probably thinking the same thing I was, this will probably be the last big celebration my parents have together.  Man, cancer just bites you in the ass sometimes.

My cry scale that day was about a 6.  My dad’s, whom I thought would be at a 10, was only about a 3.  Which is amazing because he cries ALL the time.  My mom’s was a 15.  But it was a great afternoon with family and friends.

Tony sat down and talked my dad later that afternoon and asked for his blessing to marry me.  They talked for a long time.  Tony said that my dad told him stories about me when I was a little girl and a teenager. I would have loved to hear that conversation, to hear my dad’s recollections of me as I grew up.  It makes me miss him and he isn’t even gone yet.

This Woman’s Work

I saw this on one of my new friends blog.  We have never met, but I consider her my friend because she is going through the same thing with her mom that I am with my dad.  She had this in one of her posts last week.  Me being a bit behind on my blog reading didn’t see it until today.  Cry scale already about a 6 today, this pushed it even higher.

I love this song.  I like the Kate Bush version of the actual song better, but this video is beautifully done.  The words have a new meaning to me now.  Just beautiful and heartbreaking.

This Woman’s Work

Pray God you can cope.
I stand outside this woman’s work,
This woman’s world.
Ooh, it’s hard on the man,
Now his part is over.
Now starts the craft of the father.

I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.
I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.

I should be crying, but I just can’t let it show.
I should be hoping, but I can’t stop thinking

Of all the things I should’ve said,
That I never said.
All the things we should’ve done,
That we never did.
All the things I should’ve given,
But I didn’t.

Oh, darling, make it go,
Make it go away.

Give me these moments back.
Give them back to me.
Give me that little kiss.
Give me your hand.

I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.
I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.

I should be crying, but I just can’t let it show.
I should be hoping, but I can’t stop thinking

Of all the things we should’ve said,
That were never said.
All the things we should’ve done,
That we never did.
All the things that you needed from me.
All the things that you wanted for me.
All the things that I should’ve given,
But I didn’t.

Oh, darling, make it go away.
Just make it go away now.